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Do You Feel Like You Are Losing Yourself?
Waking at 3am for the third night in a row. Feeling flat, anxious, or unlike yourself. Snapping at people you love, forgetting words, or struggling to concentrate. Many women reach midlife feeling confused, exhausted, and quietly worried — yet unsure how to explain what’s happening or whether it’s “serious enough” to raise with a GP.
If you’ve found yourself thinking “I’m not sleeping, I’m not myself”, you’re not alone. These experiences are common during midlife changes, particularly those linked to the menopause. The challenge is knowing how to describe what you’re feeling — and being taken seriously when you do.
This guide explores common and lesser-known menopause symptoms, and offers practical, empowering advice on how to talk to a GP about what’s really going on.
Understanding Midlife Changes Beyond Hot Flushes
When people talk about the menopause, hot flushes and missed periods often dominate the conversation. While these are important, they are far from the full picture.
Midlife changes are driven by fluctuating and declining hormone levels, particularly oestrogen and progesterone. These hormonal shifts can affect almost every system in the body — from brain function and sleep regulation to digestion, joints, and emotional wellbeing.
Many women experience symptoms for several years before their periods stop altogether, during the perimenopause. This phase is frequently misunderstood, leading women to dismiss symptoms or attribute them to stress, ageing, or “just life”.
Menopause Symptoms That Are Often Overlooked
Some of the most distressing menopause symptoms are also the least talked about. These can feel deeply personal, making them harder to raise in a 10-minute appointment.
Sleep disruption is one of the most common concerns. This isn’t just difficulty falling asleep, but waking in the early hours with a racing mind or a surge of anxiety. Many women say this broken sleep leaves them feeling unlike themselves during the day.
Mood changes can be subtle or severe. Low mood, irritability, sudden anxiety, panic attacks, or a loss of confidence are frequently linked to hormonal changes — even in women with no previous mental health history.
Cognitive symptoms, often referred to as “brain fog”, include forgetfulness, word-finding difficulties, and poor concentration. These can be frightening, especially for women in demanding roles.
Physical symptoms can include joint and muscle pain, headaches, heart palpitations, dizziness, digestive changes, vaginal dryness, reduced libido, and changes in skin or hair. These symptoms are real, common, and hormonally driven — even if they don’t fit the traditional menopause narrative.
Why It Can Be Hard to Talk to a GP About How You Feel
Many women delay seeking help because they worry they won’t be believed, or that their symptoms will be dismissed as stress or ageing. Others struggle to articulate how they feel, particularly when symptoms fluctuate or don’t follow a clear pattern.
There can also be a tendency to downplay symptoms. Saying “I’m tired” doesn’t capture the reality of persistent exhaustion caused by poor sleep and hormonal disruption. Saying “I’m a bit low” doesn’t reflect feeling disconnected from yourself.
Understanding that menopause symptoms can be complex, overlapping, and individual is the first step in advocating for yourself.
How to Prepare for a GP Appointment
Preparation can make a significant difference to how productive your appointment feels.
Start by writing down your symptoms over a few weeks. Note patterns, severity, and impact on daily life. For example, instead of “poor sleep”, you might write: waking at 3–4am most nights, unable to get back to sleep, feeling anxious and exhausted the next day.
Be specific about how symptoms affect you. Midlife changes often interfere with work, relationships, and self-confidence — and these impacts matter clinically.
It can also help to reflect on when symptoms started and whether they coincide with changes to your menstrual cycle, even if your periods are still regular.
When a Private Menopause Consultation Can Make a Real Difference
For some women, speaking to a GP is a helpful first step. For others, appointments can feel rushed, symptoms may be addressed in isolation, or menopause may not be explored in enough depth — particularly when symptoms are complex or less well recognised.
This is where booking a consultation with a private doctor who specialises in menopause and women’s health, such as The Female Health Doctor, can be a valuable option.
Specialist menopause care offers time, expertise, and a holistic approach. Rather than focusing on a single symptom, a private consultation looks at how hormonal changes are affecting your sleep, mood, energy, cognition, physical health, and overall quality of life — together.
Women often seek private support when they feel unheard, unsure, or stuck. Having longer appointments allows space to talk openly about symptoms that may feel difficult to raise elsewhere, including anxiety, low mood, loss of confidence, libido changes, or feeling disconnected from yourself.
A menopause specialist can also provide clearer guidance on treatment options, including personalised advice around hormone replacement therapy (HRT), non-hormonal alternatives, and lifestyle support — all tailored to your medical history and stage of midlife changes.
Importantly, private menopause care is not about bypassing the NHS; it is about accessing focused expertise when you need clarity, reassurance, and a plan that makes sense for you.
You Deserve Specialist Support During Midlife Changes
If you are lying awake at night thinking “I’m not sleeping, I’m not myself”, that feeling matters. Midlife changes and menopause symptoms can be subtle, overwhelming, and deeply personal — but they are also real, common, and treatable.
Speaking to a GP is a positive step, but it is not the only route to support. Consulting with a specialist in menopause and women’s health, such as Dr Nikki at The Female Health Doctor, can provide the time, understanding, and expertise many women need to feel confident in their next steps.
You are not overreacting. You are not imagining it. And you do not have to navigate this phase alone.
Support exists — and with the right guidance, it is possible to sleep better, feel more like yourself again, and move through midlife with clarity and confidence.
